


To Find is to Lose Something Dearly Beloved

by TheRamPaige



Series: Dream SMP Fics [3]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Tales From The SMP - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Castle Oblivion (Kingdom Hearts), Gen, Memory Loss, The InBetween - Freeform, The Masquerade, Time Travel, Web Series: Tales from the SMP, memory boy redux, thank you mr Karl for the crossover of the century
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29200173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRamPaige/pseuds/TheRamPaige
Summary: The inbetween gives what it can, and takes more than he could know.
Series: Dream SMP Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152728
Kudos: 29





	To Find is to Lose Something Dearly Beloved

White halls.

He found himself wandering white stone halls with the taste of death on his tongue.

His footsteps echo on the quartz floors even after he stops walking, pulsing through the bright empty air like a rhythm. He stares ahead, dazed.

He… Karl. That was him, at least he thinks so. 

Where is he?

He can’t… he can’t think of an answer, which is less pressing than the fact that he can’t think of anything else either. The only thing he can manage to conjure up is a name that might be his, the rest of his past is swallowed by a blankness that rivals the white of the walls.

He isn’t alarmed however, he can’t think of a reason to be, so he walks on, ambling along to the music of his steps. He’s content to just exist like this for a while, he can’t tell for how long and doesn’t know he might care to keep track, he only knows that he stops when there’s something in his path.

A book sits on the ground before him. The brown of the leather hurts his eyes after so long in monochrome.

Still, despite the pain, the void in his head is hungry and this is all it can get; so his grey eyes flick greedily over the pages.

_ This is the inbetween. _

_ A world you’ve been to a few times now. _

_ It's time to comprehend more of what is happening to you, Karl. _

_ The inbetween acts as your gateway for travelling in time. It isn't a dimension you're familiar with, but in some senses it's a home away from home. _

Home. That word gave him pause, stirring something in the back of his head, a pleasant tickle against his skull. He likes the book, he decides, suddenly greedy for that stimulation. He reads the word a couple more times, quietly fascinated with something he no longer understands.

_ The key to you grasping more of an understanding on your time travelling abilities lay within this gorgeous castle you will soon get to traverse. _

_ Fear not, this is not a place to provoke harm, but a place to feel at ease. _

He didn’t think it would be possible to feel more at ease than he already had been, but he was pleasantly surprised. He tucked the book under his arm, feeling warm and fuzzy at this newfound welcome. His wandering turned into playful jogging through ornate stone arches, enjoying this playground of peace.

The tall hallways and arches snaked gradually into a courtyard with soft green grass and swings. A large white tree shaded the area. It was only when he reached here that he could see just how truly huge the castle was; he gazed up in awe at countless white spires and breezeways scratching at the sky above him, implying so much more space than he could ever imagine exploring, and yet, that was exactly what was being asked of him.

Another book was the thing that snapped him out of his wonder, sitting at the base of the tree, and- delighted, Karl snatched it up to leaf through it while perched on a swing.

_ You don't get to choose when you time travel or when you return, but you already know that, and that is something that will remain true. _

_ Something that doesn't need to remain true however, is your body's deterioration. _

_ I know that every time you time travel, you lose more and more understanding on who you are, and this is something that you can absolutely solve in the future. _

Karl blinked, reading the words again. These words didn’t feel as nice as the others did; they confused him. Time travel? Was that how he had gotten here? The blankness in his head was frustrating instead of comforting this time, and he didn’t like the sound of “deterioration” one bit. 

The end though, a promise that he could fix it, that was nice- if only a little bit.

_ I can guarantee if you explore this castle enough, you will one day know what to do to stop losing yourself and have a better control over your mind. _

_ Good Luck. _

Exploring? He had already been doing that, and he couldn’t be sure if it was stopping whatever the book was talking about. He ran his fingers over the leather gently, half heartedly swinging his legs. Maybe that was it though? He had found the books by wandering after all, and he was learning things; maybe this was how he would learn about how to stop… whatever was wrong with him. Was something wrong with him? Maybe he would learn that too.

He wandered the garden for a little longer, basking in the sun, but he found he wasn’t as content to amble around as he had been; he was curious, anxious to see what the books meant, more eager than ever to race through whatever hallway first caught his eye.

And race he did, darting up staircases, throwing himself through doors and around pillars, skipping over low breezeways with books clutched to his chest. His hungry search was rewarded before long- finding himself in a circular room that was like a balcony, with large open gaps in the walls and pearly railings. Sitting on the edge of one railing was a book.

Breathless, he practically launched himself at it, struggling to hold it open with the other two tomes in tow.

_ I will leave you with one clear objective. You do not have a choice in the matter. _

_ You will continue to time travel, and you will continue to regroup back here in the inbetween… _

_ But, you must continue to write the stories along the way. _

_ The preservation is worth every second of your time. These stories are important to continue to share what the world is, and who you are. _

_ More important than each story individually is the library itself. Next time you're back to your library, you need to move it. Find a peaceful land and start afresh. Try to get everyone to join you that will... _

_ But... _

_ Don't let anyone know about where these stories really come from… Don't let anyone know about what the inbetween is... _

_ And don't let any harm come upon your library... _

_ Til next time, enjoy yourself. _

_ I hope to see you back here soon. _

Something was different about this one. Where the other books stirred little feelings in him, this one felt like crashing ocean waves, overwhelming compared to the small trickle he’d grown used to. His brow furrowed as he reread it.

Stories. He had to protect the stories, the library, the inbetween. 

He both had no idea what it meant and knew it was true with all his heart. Moments from all parts of time flickered behind his eyes.

Stories; a village, a city, a masquerade- Jack, Cletus, Helga, Robin, Benjamin, Sebastian, Billiam, Drew, Lioria- so many names and places to know, to hold onto, to become. His head pounded, but he read the words over again, desperate. He had to do this, it was his duty. What was he doing? What’s going on? He wants to go home, quickly, please, before he forgets anything else, before he remembers-

The cold stone floor of a cave greets him, the air buzzing with teal and violet sparks.

Karl drags himself to his feet, limbs slowly regaining feeling with prickling pins and needles. He can feel the memories blurring, he knows he doesn’t have long. He stumbles to the ladder, clawing his way upwards and shoving the bookcase to the floor. The memories feel like water in his hands, and he curses himself as he throws open an empty book. 

The words come quickly at first, he can still see glimpses of the partygoers, taste expensive wine in the back of his throat, hear tittering laughter at the butlers expense.

_ The Masquerade _

_ A group of rich people come together to party, or so they thought. _

His words slowed as the memories became choppy. Darkness, blood, but still laughter accompanied it, even as the voices grew fewer in number. Cold laughter. Karl grit his teeth, grasping for the ending to this story.

_ What began as a group of friends having fun devolved into a nightmare for many. _

_ A suspicious mansion owner ended up using his power to attack and murder each of his guests through manipulation in ways we are unsure of. _

As his pen left the paper so too did the last scraps of the story leave his dizzy, aching head, along with who knows what else. He sighed, signing the book off and placing it in its frame. Without pause, he took out another book to record what remained of his own story.

White halls, white halls and a tree, and books.

_ The inbetween. _

_ A place I don't quite understand. _

_ I feel like I've been there before, but I can't put my finger on it. _

Home. That word came to mind. That was terrifying.

That was not his home, here was his home, how long would it be before he stopped remembering that?

_ I can't keep losing my memory. _

_ And it seems like every time I go to the inbetween it happens, but I can't just stop going. _

A promise. A mystery with a promise of answers. Endless white hallways.

_ But... _

_ Maybe there's more to that place that I'm just unaware of... _

_ I have to keep looking deeper and deeper into the inbetween so I can find my way to ensure that I don't lose everyone that's so close to me. _

A warning. Something was coming to threaten his life’s work, the duty that was killing him.

_ I need to move this library. It needs to be preserved. _

_ I will find every way possible to ensure that no matter what, I can do my part to bring happiness to these lands. One preserved story at a time. _

That was it, the only things he could remember from this visit. Was he just being paranoid, or was it less than last time? What had he lost for this? There was no way of knowing, that was the worst part, so all he could do was make an empty vow to himself.

_ Don’t forget yourself. _

If he just ignored the fact that he wasn’t even fully sure who he was anymore, then it was enough, it was reassuring and confident enough that he could keep going.

He had to keep going, for their sakes, even when their names and faces stopped coming back.

When he stopped coming back.


End file.
